“Just do what I say, I’m the parent.”

“Don’t question my decisions. ”

“I’ll decide how much screen time you get.”

Sound familiar?

I used to say these things to my children without a thought because I was hard-wired from how I was raised. I didn’t want to be that way; the words just came out of me.

Welcome to the world of parenting!

So, how did I become so passionate about the significance of self-esteem? Well, once, I was energetic and curious, and I loved life until the age of eight. As the eldest of four siblings—a sister and two brothers— I was raised by a mother with emotional issues, resulting in unintentional turmoil that affected me —those days left scars that lingered long into my adulthood, resulting in crippling low self-esteem. This struggle with self-worth led me to depression, anxiety, anger, shame, and guilt. However, our past does not have to dictate our future.

Fast forward to my journey into parenthood—a pivotal moment that sparked a transformative fire within me. As parents, we may fret about inheriting negative traits from our parents, only to see those patterns resurface when we become parents ourselves. These generational behaviours are passed down unknowingly and deeply ingrained within us. The solution isn't self-blame; it's self-awareness and a commitment to breaking the cycle of inappropriate generational behaviours.

When I became a parent, I made the same mistakes my parents made with me. I yelled and screamed out of frustration because I thought that would get my children's attention. I spanked my children to punish, not to discipline, because I didn't know any other way. I didn't actively listen to my children and allow them to express themselves, honour them, or value their feelings.

In hindsight, I lacked self-awareness when I saw my children react in the ways that they did. I parented the same way I was, without any thought about my actions. I was blind to how I was affecting my children. However, I finally saw the light when, in anger, my husband pointed out how I behaved.

It began in our family kitchen when I experienced the profound moment that changed my life as a parent. As mentioned, I was in a heated argument with my husband and oldest daughter. I was yelling uncontrollably, and it felt like my anger and frustration were spiralling out of control. My focus was on punishing them for not behaving the way I thought was best. I couldn't understand why they wouldn't just do as I said, and the more they resisted, the louder I yelled. I never once considered their feelings.

During this intense exchange, my husband's words struck me like a deer in headlights. He said, "Yelling as loud as you want is not going to help because it just shuts us down, and we ignore every word you say." I looked at my daughter and could see the fear in her eyes as she witnessed my loss of self-control. It was a moment of reckoning when I realized I was the problem, not my husband and daughter. I was repeating the same hurtful patterns that I had experienced with my Mother.

Growing up, my Mother had yelled and punished me, and I had sworn that I would never be like her. Her actions made me feel worthless, and I resented her for it. But in the kitchen that day, I had become that person. My parenting style was damaging my family's self-esteem and not helping them grow. I needed to change, not them. I needed to face my weaknesses.

I was pushing my family away with my behaviour, and it was time to rebuild our relationship. As I calmed down and reflected on my actions, I was overwhelmed by shame and guilt. How could I have treated my family this way? What must they think of me? I had deeply hurt them, making them feel worthless, which was the very thing I had sworn not to do. I had to ask for their forgiveness and express gratitude for pointing out my behaviour. Most importantly, I had to forgive myself.

The yelling and screaming, the punishing, and the toxic behaviours had become ingrained in me. I didn't know there was another way to parent. That day, I knew there was Divine intervention. The parts of me I hid now were in the light, and I could finally see my family's perspective. This epiphany brought a sense of liberation and hope. I vowed to find a better way to be a better person and parent, and I did.

Today, it's so nice that my kids and grandkids all live close to each other and us. I get to see how they're raising their kids, and I'm happy that the old days of spanking and yelling are behind us. Periodically, it jokingly comes up in conversation, but as something from the past and is forgiven.

I changed how I raised my kids to let them be more independent, and I'm proud that they're doing the same with their children. Giving them the freedom to make choices on their own is making them stronger and more confident.



I am proud that with work on my part and learning new skills, our family time is way better than when I was growing up. We love spending time together and miss one another when life gets too busy with sports, activities and work. However, the best part is that we're building caring and thoughtful families. I'm excited about how these values will stick around, making our family strong and happy for a long time.

My mission is to help caregivers overcome self-doubt, guilt, and the limiting beliefs shaped by their past so they can build self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth in themselves and the children they care for. 

When caregivers grow into their best selves, they become strong role models, showing children how to embrace their worth and potential. 

I’ve walked this path myself, and now I help others navigate their challenges so they can build healthier, happier family relationships.