As I entered the class on the first day of grade four, my heart raced as we all took seats. Mrs. Thomas welcomed us all and taught me a valuable life lesson I have never forgotten.

She knew what the kids thought about her because she told us, in the first minutes of class, that we didn’t have to like her but to find one nice thing about her, just one thing, even if it was her nose. 

I was surprised by what I heard and felt reassured that my school year was going to be okay, and it was. Why? I also learned about the rumours made by certain kids about Mrs. Thomas, blaming others for their bad behaviour. That year was one of my best school years, and what I heard about Mrs. Thomas wasn’t close to the teacher I saw her as. She continued to greatly influence my life into adulthood. Mrs.Thomas recently passed away. 

I also still remember the uncomfortable feeling I experienced and didn’t understand, the fluttering heart, finding it hard to sleep, and being irritable, not knowing why. I remember stepping outside my house to “catch” my breath because I found breathing hard. All symptoms of anxiety that no one told me about but were real to me.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is characterized by different feelings such as fear, worry and overwhelm. The feelings can appear in many different ways, most often like I experienced with a racing heart. Other ways are by a tightness in the chest, tingling in different parts of your body or irritability.

The effects of anxiety can be draining without the person even knowing. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for decades, so I know what it feels like. You never fully relax and enjoy life; you are jumpy and find it hard to focus. 

5 Common Effects of Anxiety

Here are five common effects anxiety can have on your child and what you can look out for.

1. Emotional Effects: Anxiety often causes children to feel constantly worried, fearful, or overwhelmed, making it difficult for them to enjoy everyday activities or feel confident. Your child might express anxiety by being more irritable or tearful than usual.

2. Physical Effects: Anxiety can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, a racing heart, trouble sleeping or shortness of breath, causing your child to feel tired all the time. I think we have all done this in the past at one time or another. The “I’m not feeling well,” without any apparent cause, can signal underlying anxiety.

3. Cognitive Effects: Your child might struggle to focus in school, forget instructions, or have difficulty making decisions because they worry all the time, which might result in a decrease in school performance. I saw this last year when I was helping grades one and two with their reading. Kids who excelled at the beginning of the year suddenly did not recognize letters or words. I often learned why from the kids because they loved discussing their home life. That’s when I made the connection between what was going on at home and what was going on at school. It’s not always the school situation, but that is where the anxiety comes out. 

4. Behavioural Effects: If your child is experiencing anxiety, they may avoid situations that make them uncomfortable, such as playing with their friends, not wanting to go to school, or trying new activities. This avoidance can limit their ability to learn, build friendships, or develop new skills. Your child might have more than usual tantrums, clinginess, or trouble separating from you, which can also be signs of anxiety in your child.

5. Social Effects: Anxiety can affect your child's ability to connect with others. They might become shy or struggle to express their thoughts and feelings, which can cause them to become loners and lower their self-esteem. 

Causes of Anxiety

Family Stress:

In previous blogs, I mentioned that I was raised in a chaotic household. This caused tension at home, which stemmed from conflicts between my parents. My father suffered the cycle of economic times due to being self-employed. I also see this family dealing with the stress of divorce and blended family, all creating a stressful atmosphere, leading to anxiety in children who may feel worried or insecure.

School Pressure:

In high school, to help deal with my anxiety and depression, I was an overachiever, always striving for the honour roll. I now see this in other students who feel the pressure to succeed, which leads to being overwhelmed by some children, especially if they fear disappointing their parents or teachers. Nowadays, there are added social challenges like bullying or trouble making friends, also contributing to anxiety. 

Separation Anxiety:

I remember putting my little ones on the bus and sending them off to grade one. Young children who are separated from their Mom or Dad because of separation or school often experience anxiety. 

Traumatic Experiences:

Experiencing or witnessing traumatic events, such as the death of a loved one, having a severe illness, or an accident, can lead to anxiety. Moving to a different house, having a new baby in the family, or changing schools can trigger anxious feelings in children. Even though the event can be a happier occasion, it is a change for your child. 

Genetics:

Anxiety can be influenced by genetics and how the brain works. Anxiety might run in your family and consequently experienced by your children. 

Perfectionism:

Fear of failure or making mistakes can make everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Some children set extremely high expectations for themselves and may develop anxiety about meeting those standards. 

Overexposure to Media:

Constant exposure to news about global issues, natural disasters, or other frightening events, which can increase anxiety in children, especially if they struggle to process or understand the information. Children feed off the energy in the household. When my dad experienced a stressful time with his business, it permeated the house. My Mom had less money to buy groceries. As a child, I never knew what the problem was, except I knew something was happening because my parents were fighting more and were more irritable.

By understanding these causes, you can better support your child and help them manage anxiety in a healthy way.

Helping your child manage anxiety naturally involves creating a supportive environment, teaching coping strategies, and encouraging healthy habits. 

I never told anyone about my symptoms for various reasons. When I talked to my mom in the past about problems, she dismissed them that I was being over-sensitive and that what I said wasn’t true. I also felt shame that I wasn’t able to cope with life and that everyone around me could, but I couldn’t, so what was wrong with me? 

How to Help A Child with Stress: 11 Natural Remedies for Anxiety

It wasn’t until I experienced my aha moment with my family and the help of counsellors that I finally understood that my upbringing was one reason for my anxiety and that I created the same environment with my family. Here is what I learned to help with anxiety naturally. 

1. Open a Dialogue: First and foremost, as a parent or caregiver, talk to your child without judgment. I have mentioned this numerous times before. Let them know you are there for them and are glad they are coming to you to talk about things. Their concerns might seem minor to you, but they are big problems to them. Ask your child open-ended questions like, "How are you feeling about school?" or "Is there anything that’s been worrying you?" Letting them talk allows them to hear themselves, and they can often figure out their problems. 

2. Create a Calm Environment: Try to provide a safe and peaceful space for your child and you, for that matter. A calm environment can include a neat bedroom, happy music, or routines so mornings and bedtime are less hectic. 

3. Relaxation Techniques: Many simple techniques, like deep breathing or guided meditation, can help your child manage their anxiety. Get them to take slow, deep breaths when feeling overwhelmed, or guide them through a short guided meditation. Also, deep breathing exercises and meditation are great for everyone.

4. Establish a Consistent Routine: A predictable morning and evening routine can give your children and yourself a sense of security. Try to maintain regular meals, homework, play, and bedtime times to reduce stress caused by unexpected situations.

5. Physical Activity: Exercise is a great way to lower anxiety. Physical activity helps release tension and makes you feel happier and more energized. Suggest that your kids play outside, ride their bikes, join a sports team, or take a walk, which I have mentioned many times before. What better way to have one-on-one time with your child, get fresh air, and exercise than taking a fifteen-minute walk?

6. Limit Screen Time: Too much time on phones or iPads, especially on social media, can increase anxiety. Set clear limits on their use and suggest activities like reading, drawing, or playing outside. Phones are a touchy subject. It is a love-hate relationship. Phones are great for instantly connecting with loved ones and friends.

On the other hand, phones are taking away a nonrenewable resource: our time. It is not only children who are affected but adults as well. My opinion is to set the example by monitoring your screen time and doing other activities such as exercising, hobbies and other things that bring you joy. 

7. Teach Positive Self-Talk or Affirmations: This was a game changer for me in helping with my anxiety. Repeating positive affirmations and changing my negative thoughts to positive ones helped me see the situation I was anxious about differently. For example, if your child is worried about failing a test, remind them to focus on their effort and preparation instead of the fear of failure.

8. Model Healthy Coping: Our children mirror our behaviours, and we don’t even realize it until we see them do what we do. So, showing them how we handle stress in a healthy way makes a big difference in helping our children cope with their anxiety. Therefore, it is essential for us to practice self-care and demonstrate calmness in the face of challenges.

9. Problem-Solving Skills: Help your child to face their fears by breaking down challenges into smaller steps. Encourage them to think about ways they can manage situations that cause them anxiety. Helping them solve their problems can build confidence and resilience, causing them to develop their self-esteem, which is my goal for you and your family. 

10. Get Proper Sleep: Not getting the right amount of sleep and poor sleep can worsen anxiety. To help get the proper sleep, ensure your child keeps a consistent bedtime routine and goes to bed at the same time each night. Avoid stimulating activities, like screen time close to bedtime, and create a calming bedtime habit such as reading and listing things they are grateful for. 

11. Healthy Diet: Eating a balanced, nutritious diet isn’t the easiest, due to the cost of food nowadays. The best way to handle it is to limit the amount of sugar and caffeine your child eats. I have learned that eating more protein helps with mood swings, which can help your child feel more calm. 

By incorporating these natural methods into daily life, you can help your child develop the skills they need to manage anxiety in a healthy and effective way. 

Conclusion:

In conclusion, anxiety in children is caused by a variety of situations, from family stress to school pressures and even genetic factors. By recognizing the signs early, you can play a vital part in helping your child manage anxiety. Whether through open, non-judgemental communication, establishing morning and bedtime routines, or encouraging physical activity, small changes can help lower your child’s stress and help them feel more confident and safe.



Be the example. Guide your child to develop healthy coping mechanisms by modelling these coping methods. Build a supportive environment at home to help them manage anxiety now but also equip them with the tools they need to handle future challenges with resilience and confidence.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A LICENSED DOCTOR OR THERAPIST. CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL FOR IMMEDIATE ATTENTION OR CONCERNS. 

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"Remember, change begins with ourselves."

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Wishing you heartfelt warmth 

and support on your parenting journey!

Cathy